Smoking Cessation and the Fear of Fat

July 9, 2012

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People who had given up smoking more than 10 years previously were not more likely to be overweight than people who had never smoked. And, current smokers were found to be less likely than the other groups to be overweight.

Smiling Jack Is Back

May 16, 2011

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Smiling Jack is back and this time it’s Phyllis who reaps the benefits of his underhanded dealings, but at what cost?

Smiling Jack is back and this time it is Phyllis who reaps the benefits of his sneaky and underhanded dealings. Jack has always been a master at getting what he wants and doing it while keeping a smile on his face. But this time Jack has found himself having regrets regarding his underhanded dealings with Phyllis.

Our Latest Weekly News Warp

March 11, 2011

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New Zealand Prime Minister, Helen Clark, is soon to meet with US President, George W. Bush in an effort to learn, once and for all, how New Zealand SAS troops got to Afghanistan. While early suspicion naturally enough pointed to the crafty Australians – who have cut New Zealand out of a co-hosting role for the rugby World Championship – there is mounting suspicion that the US itself may have been involved. Ms. Clark confirmed that her government is investigating one particularly troublesome rumor.


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Stunning Development Rocks Web Site

February 24, 2011

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Staff at The Ornery Reports never set out to be scientific pioneers, but who was it that said, “chance and accident often lead to great discoveries?”

If no one ever did, we will claim that line as we announce the world’s first leprechaun cloning.

Yes, readers of The Ornery Reports will have noticed by now that our little leprechaun mascot in the header has his own mirror image.

Shibden Park – Halifax

February 2, 2011

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A few weeks ago I found myself in the West Yorkshire town of Halifax (UK) with a couple of hours to kill. Of course, having my skates in the back of the car, I decided to find a convenient park.

On The Fartlek Trail

January 12, 2011

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Simply speed, fartlek is always good in conversation

The term “fartlek” translates from the Swedish as “speed play.” Fartlek also translates to one of the most benign of all speed workouts because it involves painlessly mixing relatively mild speed in with your daily workouts.

Most runners do not regularly, consciously engage in fartlek running because most runners, especially older runners, do not have the luxury of having coaches to lead them through specific workout regimens. But most of us have probably been doing fartlek workouts without realizing it. You’re out on a five-mile course you use maybe once a week. After two miles, you’ve begun to warm up and you hit a section of the course which is one of those psychologically uplifting stretches. You know those sections, where the spirit lifts a bit and the running becomes smoother, as opposed to the two-mile section in the regular six-mile course that runs past the landfill where the road is narrow and the hormonal-ravaged teenagers attempt to run anything on two or four feet off the road.

Accentuate the Negative

January 5, 2011

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Weightlifting is pretty simple: Lift the weight up, lower the weight down. Rocket science it ain’t. There are, however, a multitude of variables within this seemingly limited procedure. Take, for example, the “negative.”

It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like your work is done once the full extension – the “push” or “pull” phase of an exercise – is reached. But that’s only half of the exercise. Many kinesiologists and exercise analysts believe it’s the negative, or lowering, motion that provides the most benefit.

SELF Challenge Month Two

December 15, 2010

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If you’ve completed Month One of the SELF Challenge,you’re probably noticing that you already have more energy for work and play—not to mention looser pants and a glow that no makeup can match. Well, it only gets better! Visit the links below to begin the second phase of our proven plan, designed just for you by experts from the Duke Diet & Fitness Center and The Golden Door Spas.

Ultra-Determined: An Interview with Boulder Ultra-Runner Stephanie Ehret. 2

June 28, 2010

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AR: Do you train year-round, or is there an off-season/on-season?

SE: I might perform better if I took a month or two off each year – most of the top competitors do. But I’m really more interested in doing what I love – running – than in winning races. I do cross-train (bicycle, ski, snowshoe, aerobics) whenever the running starts to feel stale or tedious.

Ultra-Determined: An Interview with Boulder Ultra-Runner Stephanie Ehret. 1

June 17, 2010

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What would ever possess someone to want to go out and run 100 miles? After spending a year running regularly with a group of people who consider this “fun” in some warped way, the author finally gave in to her curiosity and approached experienced ultra-runner Stephanie Ehret in pursuit of the answer to this question. Born and raised in Boulder, Colorado, at 38 Ehret is one of the best ultra-distance runners in the country (ultra-distance means longer than a marathon). Ehret’s dedicated attitude and her obvious passion for the sport have garnered her top finishes in many events, such her first-place overall (both male and female) in the 1999 Across the Years 24-hour race, as well as sponsorships by Montrail, Patagonia and Clif Bar. So just how does someone get involved in this intense sport, and what, exactly, does it take?