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Women are so conditioned to be the caretakers that we often forget to take care of ourselves. In the midst of the holiday season, we throw ourselves into preparations while still doing all the other work that falls under our purview. We add to our lists. And sometimes we forget to just plain smell the pine cones or to pamper ourselves with a brisk walk on a sunny day or a cup of tea on a late winter’s afternoon.

We forget how tired we can become and how stressed by being the keeper of the details. We eat standing up in the kitchen, taking a moment between school drop-offs and pickups to feed ourselves. Many women go to bed with a list and wake up with one. I’m ashamed to admit I’m one of them. My eyelids are barely open when I can hear the litany in my brain of things to do, things to do.

Then I try to remind myself that we live life in the present. That life is what we make it NOW. This weekend I remembered that. I watched two of my big, strong sons put Santa and his sleigh and reindeer on the roof of our garage and light them up. I took a moment to stand there with my husband — our arms wrapped around each other’s waists — and I felt the giggle in my heart.

For years, I had wanted to see just this sight. We live at the bottom of a long, winding hill and, as you come down that last curve, there on the garage roof is Santa, like the promise of all those childhood dreams.

I giggled some more, then clapped my hands and cheered my sons. That felt so very good. It made the boxes of Christmas stuff in various rooms of the house seem less tedious to deal with, because one major effect already had been achieved.

We all need to take this kind of mental and emotional care of ourselves — to enjoy and to laugh, to let the list go for a few minutes, or even for a day, and learn how to exhale. We need to rest our feet, soothe our tummies and make some magic deep within us.

I’m trying to think of this as the holiday gift I give myself, and I’d like to share it with all of you. Take that moment. Lie under those covers for just five minutes more. Feel the luxury of it. Go romp with the dog. Have lunch with a girlfriend. Take the time to cuddle your husband or hug the kids or, better yet, do both. Bury your nose deep into the needles of a fragrant balsam wreath and inhale Christmas.

The lists and the demands will still be there waiting for you. But your heart will be lighter and your spirit will soar, and that’s where the magic of living comes from in the first place.