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There is no simple formula, no single way to tell a child that you are expecting another baby. Some say detailed discussion and books that provide information about childbirth are helpful, while others think the amount of preparation really doesn’t matter. It may also depend on the age of your firstborn, as a younger child will understand and interpret the event quite differently than an older child will. It may be sufficient to explain to a younger child that the baby is growing inside mommy’s tummy. An older child may have questions about how the baby got there, which, depending on your judgment, may prompt a more detailed discussion about sex and reproduction. In any case, tell your child that a baby will be coming, that mommy might be tired, and that things will change.

When talking about the new baby, let your child know that this baby is a person, not a mysterious lump in your belly. Letting your child feel the baby kick will help make this clear, and can be exciting for a child. In addition to this, telling your child that she, too, was once inside your tummy can help her understand the event a little better. Depending on the age of your child, you might want to show her pictures of yourself when you were pregnant with her, when she was born, and how she looked as a small baby. It also may help to introduce your child to young babies so that she can understand the difference between a real baby and a doll.

To ease a child through this event, it is important to try to keep the child’s life as normal as possible, despite the changes you may be going through. Minimize changes in your child’s life so she doesn’t feel completely overwhelmed. Try to keep her schedule the same, spend quality time reading and talking with her, and make sure she feels secure. The introduction of a new person may make her feel less loved, and your reassurance, along with a stable, consistent routine can diminish that fear.

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